ZanyLand

Does an Elephant Really Remember?

Mr. Zany — Sun, 13 May 2012 21:24:11 +0000

A man was on holiday in Kenya. While he was walking through the bush, he came across an elephant standing with one leg raised in the air.

The elephant seemed distressed so the man approached it very carefully. He got down on one knee and inspected the elephant’s foot. There was a large thorn deeply embedded in the bottom of the foot.

As carefully and as gently as he could he removed the thorn and the elephant gingerly put down its foot. The elephant turned to face the man and stared at him intently. For a long minute the man stood frozen – thinking of nothing else but being trampled. Eventually the elephant trumpeted loudly, turned and walked away.

For years after, the man remembered the elephant and the events of that day. One day the man was walking through a zoo. As he approached the elephant enclosure, one of the creatures turned and walked over to where he was standing at the rail. It stared at him and the man couldn’t help wondering if this might be his old friend from Kenya.

After a while it trumpeted loudly, then it continued to stare at him. The man summoned up his courage, climbed over the railing and made his way into the enclosure. He walked right up to the elephant and stared back in wonder.

Suddenly the beast trumpeted again, wrapped its trunk around one of the man’s legs and swung him wildly back and forth along the railing, killing him.

Probably wasn’t the same elephant.

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A Blonde in the Library

Mr. Zany — Sun, 13 May 2012 11:29:58 +0000

A blonde walks into the library, looks around, then gets in line for the counter. Once she gets to the head of the line, she loudly says, “I’d like a Big Mac, large fries, and a large Coke.”

The librarian looks at her for a moment, then whispers to her, “Ma’am, this is the library.”

“Oh!” says the blonde, looking around. The she leans close and whispers back, “I’d like a Big Mac, large fries, and a large Coke….”

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Undeniable Adult Truths

Mr. Zany — Wed, 05 Jan 2011 14:23:47 +0000

I think part of a best friend’s job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.(...)
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How Come Daddy’s Got So Few Hairs?

Mr. Zany — Tue, 12 Oct 2010 10:18:16 +0000

Little Johnny was eating breakfast one morning and got to thinking about things. “Mommy, how come daddy’s got so few hairs on his head?” he asked his mother.(...)
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He Threw a Rock at Me

Mr. Zany — Tue, 12 Oct 2010 10:16:42 +0000

“I’m ashamed of you,” the mother said. “Fighting with your best friend is a terrible thing to do!”

“He threw a rock at me!” the boy said. “So I threw one at him.”(...)
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How to Cure a Cold

Mr. Zany — Tue, 12 Oct 2010 10:14:29 +0000

A man went to see his doctor because he was suffering from a miserable cold. His doctor prescribed some pills, but they didn’t help.(...)
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Two Kids on a Scavenger Hunt

Mr. Zany — Tue, 12 Oct 2010 10:13:06 +0000

A woman answered her front door and found two little boys holding a list. “Lady,” one of them explained, “we’re on a scavenger hunt, and we still need three grains of wheat, a pork-chop bone and a piece of used carbon paper(...)
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We Can’t Help — We’re Dead

Mr. Zany — Tue, 12 Oct 2010 10:11:38 +0000

During an Army war game a commanding officer’s jeep got stuck in the mud. The C.O. saw some men lounging around nearby and asked them to help him get unstuck.(...)
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Dad’s Rules for Using the Car

Mr. Zany — Tue, 12 Oct 2010 10:09:11 +0000

A young boy had just gotten his driving permit. He asked his father, who was a minister, if they could discuss his use of the car.(...)
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If You Don’t Stop Sucking Your Thumb…

Mr. Zany — Tue, 12 Oct 2010 10:05:26 +0000

A boy had reached the age of four without giving up his thumb-sucking habit, though his mother had tried everything from bribery to reasoning to painting it with lemon juice to discourage him.(...)
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How Many Women Can a Man Marry?

Mr. Zany — Tue, 12 Oct 2010 10:03:25 +0000

A little boy was attending his first wedding. After the service, his cousin asked him, “How many women can a man marry?”(...)
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What the Beer Presidents Ordered

Mr. Zany — Tue, 12 Oct 2010 10:02:17 +0000

After the Great Britain Beer Festival, in London, all the brewery presidents decided to go out for a beer. The guy from Corona sits down and says, “Hey Senor, I would like the world’s best, a Corona.”(...)
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Mechanic vs. Heart Surgeon

Mr. Zany — Tue, 12 Oct 2010 10:00:25 +0000

Morris the loudmouth mechanic was removing the cylinder heads from the motor of a car when he spotted the famous heart surgeon Dr. Michael DeBakey, who was standing off to the side waiting for (...)
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The Kangaroo’s Fence at the Zoo

Mr. Zany — Tue, 12 Oct 2010 09:57:41 +0000

A kangaroo kept getting out of his enclosure at the zoo.

Knowing that he could hop high, the zoo officials put up a ten-foot fence. He was out the next morning, just roaming around the zoo. A twenty-foot fence was put up. Again he got out.(...)
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How to Clean a Cat: An 8-Step Process

Mr. Zany — Tue, 12 Oct 2010 03:20:12 +0000

The following list shows the proper steps for cleaning a cat.(...)
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